Are you one of THESE parents? If so, give me a wide berth.

Okay fellow parents, I’ve been looking the other way for a while now.

I’ve watched as you’ve let your “charmingly boisterous” children roam around the fancy furniture store like rabid monkeys, jumping on the leather lounges like shiny, squeaky trampolines. I didn’t even flinch when you let them stomp their chips into the showroom rugs while you fingered through swatches and debated about colours. Whatevs.

I bit my tongue as you let your children stuff your dog with “borrowed” liver treats from the veterinary nurses’ desk, and feign ignorance when the nurse remarked at the how few were left. Whatevs.

I cut you a bit of slack. My kids were only little, what did I know about keeping them in check during lengthy pubic expeditions to GET THINGS DONE? Surely it is harder when you can’t bribe them with food, or bluff that we’ll “only be a little while longer”?

Well, it probably is. But guess what? It’s friggin’ rude. RUDE!

Please stop your feral children from breaking the basic rules of common courtesy just because you’re too lazy to teach them right from wrong. It kinda gives me the shits. And did I mention, IT’S RUDE??

No harm will come from telling them “No sugarpie honeybunch, it’s not polite to JUMP ON OTHER PEOPLES’ PROPERTY LIKE A CRAZED ANIMAL, just because YOU FEEL LIKE IT”. “No sweetheart, it’s not right to GO BEHIND AN ADMINISTRATIVE DESK AND HELP YOURSELF TO SOMETHING THAT’S NOT YOURS, just because YOU FEEL LIKE IT.”

Isn’t there some benefit in teaching them that in the real world there are boundaries? The kind of boundaries that teach children to respect other people and their possessions?

It often makes me wonder if these whatevs parents are so lax at home, they’d let their little darlings hang off their chandeliers if it meant they’re having a good time. Wreck the Hans Wegner armchair? Whatevs. Paint the kitchen cupboard with your electric blue nail polish? Whatevs. Dent the flat screen with an airborne shoe? Whatevs.

Ummmmm, perhaps not.

So lazy parents, please stop inflicting your ill-taught children on the rest of us. It’s rude. And it’s not my job to teach them that using other peoples’ lounges as an impromptu trampoline is not ok. I’m not going to say whatevs.


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