Are you guilty of mummyjacking?

Yes! There’s finally a correct term for a particularly annoying form of parenting douchebaggery that has been clogging our social media (and driving me bananas) for some time now…

Mummyjacking or Mommyjacking, as coined by the hilarious folks at STFU, Parents (that’s Shut The F*** Up, Parents, for all those wondering), is the art of hijacking social media feeds with random parenting information, often in the form of one-upmanship. It is generally perpetrated by mindless, annoying overshareres who feel their ability to spit out offspring entitles them to brag, complain and patronise indiscriminately.

Please observe exhibit A):

Mummyjacking - courtesy of http://now.msn.com/

Mummyjacking – courtesy of http://now.msn.com/

Thanks Red Snowflake Lady, who needs to flog a story about donkeys, wise men and baby saviours when we have you to share a REAL birth story …. in detail….at the mere mention of a Christmas tree… some 24 years after the fact?? And cheers for the duration/weight clarification, God knows your initial post wouldn’t have made sense without it. WTF?

Or exhibit B):

Mummyjacking - courtesy of http://now.msn.com/

Mummyjacking – courtesy of http://now.msn.com/

What’s that Lindsay? Having a great week? Impossible! Until you’ve birthed a miniature human through your glorious love-tunnel you don’t. Know. Shit. Joy isn’t joy until you’re a mum, like Andrea. Kittens also look cuter and ice cream tastes better post-baby, too. FACT.

Noticing a pattern?

Mummyjacking – and daddyjacking, too, because men can be equally douchey – is a well-documented phenomenon social scourge at STFU, ParentsSo much so, they have identified several sub-categories including shamejacking, milestonejacking and deathjacking. Yep, you heard right. Deathjacking.

Observe exhibit C):

Deathjacking (Mummyjacking sub-category) - courtesy of http://www.stfuparentsblog.com/

Deathjacking (Mummyjacking sub-category) – courtesy of http://www.stfuparentsblog.com/

Poor childless Charles. Of course he wouldn’t publicly mourn the loss of his 16-year companion if he had kids. Everyone knows pets are relegated to furry wallpaper status once a mini-human arrives. Thanks for your heartfelt condolences Luis, you really put that shit into perspective.

Deathjacking aside, I’d like to reserve a special circle in hell for the moron mummyjackers who mistakenly believe they deserve a medal for, you know, BEING A MOTHER.

Take Candace here, in exhibit D), who doesn’t think working as a nurse cuts it quite like motherhood:

Mummyjacking - courtesy of http://www.stfuparentsblog.com/

Mummyjacking – courtesy of http://www.stfuparentsblog.com/

I don’t get paid, I never sleep, I can’t do whatever I feel like because I have kids wah, wah, wah… it’s not like these mummyjackers made the choice to have children or anything. And now they want a high-five every time they wipe their kid’s dirty bum or ferry them to sport.

Who cares about people like Mother of The Year 2013 Hasiba Cesko, who lived off rice flour as a 19-year-old mother in war-torn Bosnia, when you can mummyjack your friend’s daylight savings post on Facebook to complain about your lack of sleep?

The game is up, jerks. We’re revealing your douchebaggery for what it is.

Have you ever been mummyjacked? Know of someone who has? Got a funny mummyjacking story to share? Feel free to share your thoughts and experiences below.

And for those who enjoyed viewing the train-wreck that is mummyjacking, here is a gallery (images courtesy of http://www.stfuparentsblog.com/ and http://now.msn.com/):

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  1. […] we had similar birthing adventures (in which case I’m likely to momentarily mummyjack the conversation to reminisce) or maybe your experience will teach me something […]

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