So, I’m pregnant with triplets…

Ever wonder what it would be like to told you’re having triplets? Nope? Me fucking neither.

It’s like wondering when eminem is going to publish a feminist manifesto, or when Taylor Swift will find true love. That shit just ain’t gonna happen.

Well people, I was wrong. Wrong with a capital W(TF).

It happens – apparently to poor fools who decided it would be a bright idea to have “just one more”, ones with no family history of multiples* or obvious risk factors.

FUN FACT: Statistically, naturally conceived triplets account for approximately one birth out of every 8100 in Australia. If that doesn’t sound high enough, let’s put it in context with being killed by a great white off a Perth beach (one in 30 million per swim), dying in a plane crash (one in 11 million) or winning the lottery (one in eight million).

Triplet pregnancies happen. To people. To me.

wpid-1418188342658.jpg

 

But for those who won’t ever experience the horror joy of receiving news that you’ve got not one but three stowaways on board, here’s how it goes down…

Doctor: Knock, knock.
Me: Who’s there?
Doctor: Three gestational sacs.
Me: Three gestational sa… who? Wait, fuck. What?

Okay, so it didn’t go down exactly like that (I didn’t even swear!), but doctors really should look into delivering terrifying difficult news with a dodgy punchline. Why did the chicken visit the doctor? Because it had chicken pox! Now, speaking of communicable diseases….

Instead, I got the standard “Are you sitting down?” and a kindly worded explanation about how my scan showed three gestational sacs of varying sizes, all or none of which could result in the birth of a healthy baby. Not exactly the news one would expect, having waltzed into the doctor’s office a teary, sinus-infected mess a day earlier and declared the pregnancy was going to end in miscarriage because “I know my body”.

The scan – ordered, ironically, to put my mind at ease – proved otherwise. Well played, body. Well played.

I’d taken the doctor’s call feeling like a neurotic idiot, prepared to hear that the scan results showed nothing of significance for such an early stage the pregnancy. I never thought for one second that I could be so wrong.

“You’re taking this remarkably well,” my GP said (which is a terrifying statement coming from a mother-of-six. For God’s sake woman, you have six kids. By choice. Talk that shit up!).

Taking it well? I guess so (denial is kinda handy in that respect). The possibility of three babies at once seems both horrifying and completely improbable. No-one has triplets. It’s early days. I have a 40 per cent chance of miscarrying one or more babies in the first trimester. I don’t feel sick enough. Triplets are rare for a reason; three probably won’t survive. We’re just ordinary people, triplets don’t happen to us.

My husband was suitably mortified by the idea of parenting five children under five. After scraping his eyebrows of the ceiling, he threw himself into planning renovations and researching “cars” (which is code for hideous people-movers).

I, and the other hand, am planning my retraction. I’m wondering how long it will be until we discover my cannibal uterus has absorbed one or more foetuses (which can totally happen). I’m taking the days as they come, hoping today won’t be the day that I see blood, feel pain or discover something has gone horribly wrong.

It will no doubt be an eventful experience, whatever happens next.

* My brother has twins but this was clearly on his wife’s side of the family.

 

Know someone with triplets? Ever been pregnant with triplets? Feel free to share your experience with me! (I’m keen to hear as many as I can!)

 

Advertisements

Comments

  1. over the weekend I was watching the Midwives (abc iview) they had an episode that featured two different women delivering triplets. I found it fascinating but I guess that depends on the individual, some might find it upsetting to watch. They went through the procedures (UK) in place for triplet births. Although spoilers: they all delivered safely and recovered well.

    Like

    • Hey Sarah, thanks for the tip-off! I actually caught it on iview after another friend let me know it was on (predicably, i was asleep on the lounge when it went to air). I found it pretty confronting …and reassuring in terms of outcomes for the babies, if i end up with all three. I always new I was lucky with my first two pregnancies and births but feeling it even more so now, with so much uncertainty ahead.
      Thanks for the comment!

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: